Out into the country side

My bum is pretty sore. I spent all day on the back of Bunna's motorcycle. We drove far, far away from Siem Reap to visit a big waterfall at Phnom Kulen - Mountain of the Lychees.

When we got to the national park and started climbing into the mountains the road tuned into dirt and bumpy stones. Bunna is good driver, we didn't go over many pot holes, the ditches were the hardest.

Along the way I saw many small stilt houses and ramshakle shops on the road-side. I wonder how they secure the stuff at night? Maybe they pack everything up.

There were many flooded fields. It is the rainy season, though the weather has been amazing while I've been here. The sun just came up and is shining on my face as I sit on my porch up amongst the tree tops with the sounds of birds and the hum of insects.

One afternoon the heavens suddenly opened up while I was inside having a massage. When I came out all the streets were flooding. It has tropical heat that makes sweat run in rivulets down my back and soak my clothes. The dye in the blue pants I bought came off and turned my skin blue.

Last night I went to buy more pants to wear today. I can't believe how dumb I am. When I got back, I had bought the same colour! I must have that colour on my brain. I'd been wearing them for two days. I had to get a tuk tuk back to change them over. I have a purple pair to wear today now.

In the flooded fields, sometimes there were buffalos and grey Brahman bulls & cows, sometimes grazing, sometimes working. People were hoeing and fishing wearing coolie hats to shade thier face. In the jungle people were hacking down small trees near the road and building picnic structures from the saplings.

As we climbed the steep mountain road, the view opened up to see the long valley far below, cleared of jungle with magnificent rocks left strewn about. While above us was huge sun halo. It stayed with us forever.

The first we went to was a special magical place, the birth of the Kymer Kingdom, it's first city with a reclining Buddha carved into the top of an extrodinary rock.

We climbed up a long, stone staircase flanked by statues of two golden tigers, beggars, some chickens , medicinal plant sellers, and other statues. There may still be tigers hiding in the jungle on the mountain above the temple.

There is an orange shrine with much incense burning, musicians playing under an over hanging rock, like an open cave. There is a shrine with Buddha's deep foot print carved into the rock. He has a giant foot. I let a money bill float down into the soul as an offering. There is a bright orange statue of Ganesh to match the Ganesh t-shirt I was wearing and a statue of Hanuman for me to do leaping monkey pose with (& no officious guide).

There is also magic water to wash your hands. I couldn't understand what Bunna was telling me till later when we went to a stream and where they have 1000 squares with circles inside representing male and female fertility, called the Thousand Lingas at Kbal Spean. I don't want any more fertility, but maybe the magic water will help with my love life.

To reach the reclining Buddha we climbed up a steap stone staircase. A wooden shrine is built around him as he lies with sleepy eyes, stretched out along the top of the mountain. There is a teeny tiny bone fragment from his finger encased in a glass case. Just like the tiny piece of Mary's bone I saw once under a St Mary Magiore Basilica in Rome.

I am truely blessed and humbled by all the Gods to be constantly in their presence in sacred places. It is an amazing life's journey. l could compare this place with Uluru, with the incredible sacred rock rising up out of the ground. The heart of Australia and the heart of the Kymer Kingdom.

From the Preah Ang Thom Pagoda we went on to the waterfall. I wouldn't like it in peak season, nor visiting the temples. Crowds would spoil these places.

I swam around for a while, the water is not clear and crisp. There is a lot of it though, falling from high up and very broad.

I accidentally swallowed a little but I had two slightly cooked cloves of garlic with my delicious roast beef dinner. I'm hoping that will counteract a germ.

I was a bit hungry by now. Bunna took me to a restaurant. I had fish & vegetables. It was soooooo good! Later Bunna told me it is a very fanous restaurant. I should be! the food was awesome. Though I tried 3 tables before I found one I liked. The first had a little trail of ants marching across the tablecloth from a spot of food left behind by a previous dinner. Lucky ants who live here. I ended up sitting by a pond with big gold fish looking through the tropical garden.

Then I went to Banteay Srei, an 11th century Hindu temple, also known as the Lady Temple. There was a policeman/guard sitting at the entrance. He asked if I would like a guide. I wasn't going to but reconsidered when I heard him say "You don't want to know the history?"

He looked quite startled when I turned around and said "OK". I had to convince him to come with me.

He was awesone. The temple has perfectly preserved carvings deep into the stone plinths depicting so many stories of the  Hindu Gods. He told me so many things. And he took some lovely yoga photos for me. He knew all the best spots. I had a wonderful time. And learnt so much.

I am very curious to find out who brought the Hindu and Buddhist religion to Cambodia.

Temples in the Jungle

Off into the jungle in a tuktuk.

I started off with breakfast in a simple restaurant setting in the jungle. I had fresh coconut! and an omelette. It was yummy.

My tuk tuk driver dropped me off at Bayon temple. I haven't been feeling myself lately, I needed some time in an ancient Buddhist temple to reconnect with the universal energy.

I clambered around the ancient carvings, through many low stone doorways and along a myriad of corridores that seemed to lead nowhere in particular and through tiny cramped rooms. I climbed steep stairs up to the very top of the amazing 13th century ruin, built as a Mayahana Buddist temple by Jayavarman VII.

Jayavarman VII was only the second Buddhist king of the powerful Khmer kingdom. He obviously wanted to bring the Buddhist way to his people. Later it was converted by other kings back to the traditional Hindu religion honoring Vishnu & Shiva. Which makes it all the more strange that the female guard stopped me doing yoga.

I was in Humanasana, leaping monkey pose. Hunuman is the General of Lord Rama's army. He vanquished many demons to rescue his wife, Sita. He is patron god of martial arts, meditation and scholarship.

"No," she said, "We do not do that style here."

I looked at her increduously, "Yoga," I said, "you do not do yoga her?" I wanted to give her a lesson that yoga is to attain union with God.  But I think she didn't have a clue.

Up the top of the temple are 200 giant heads carved into rock. Tbey are the head of Lokeshvara, the Bodhisattva of compassion.

I found a little Buddha alcove. Seeing the giant heads with the jungle behind from a Buddha alcove in an ancient temple through half closed eyes mesmerized me into meditation.

I was deep in meditation in a little triangle in the wall where a Buddha statue might have been, or flowers or offerings. It fitted me so perfectly. I didn't think anybody would be able to see me because I was in a sort of dark stone cave.

I saw duality with the door inbetween. It was as steady as the rocks that enclosed me and as unmoving as the heads that had been watching the jungle change for 800 years. I saw the people move from one side to the other through the door. They seemed unaware.

But some of them did see me. They kept calling me a living Buddha and wondering if I was a statue. I think they took photos but I was too focused to be affected.

It helped me alot. I often feel that people at home don't recognize me. I liked being recognized, it only seems to happen when I am abroard that people see my inner self. I like being a Buddha. I feel so much better. I feel like myself.

Bahaha, luckily I had finished my meditation but I hadn't gone from my spot, I was still absorbed in the moment. The same woman guard came along and told me to stop being a Buddha. "No meditating in the temple," she said, "only for the Buddha," she said. 

"I know" I said. I wanted to tell her I am a Buddha, but she must have only been doing a job, not understanding spirituality. I wonder if that is why people don't see me at home. Perhaps you have to be connected with your own spirituality to see it in others, or at least searching for spirituality. Perhaps. I don't know what her problem was. But it doesn't matter, that's her problem and I had a pure experience.

I had a lovely talk with my tuk tuk driver, swinging in a hammock. One of my travelling friends, Amy put me in touch with him.

Then we went onto the Tomb Raider Temple. 

Years ago, I watched Tomb Raider. I wanted to be like Lara Croft, but for real. Now I'm a black belted yogi who learns sword fighting, visiting Cambodia and the Temples in the jungle.

Ummm. I might have to meditate on that.

I loved this place. I came to get tree energy and the spirits in the tree here are so strong and ancient. I'm pretty full and glowing again. 

The trees have taken root on top of walls and stone structures. But the walls are so strong they support the trees and massive roots wind their way down into the earth.

I got into trouble here too for sitting up on a high wall with the trees. But it was an amazing feeling. Looking out from inside the temple into the jungle high amongst the trees. It's exactly what I said I would do. Meditate in the jungle. I sat with the spirits of the trees and absorbed.

Cambodia

I've missed a few days.

I'm in Cambodia now.

I had my birthday. I turned 50. I love being so hot at 50.

I had a birthday dinner in Newcastle at a Brazilian restaurant called Meet. The next thing I know I'm sitting in Siem Reap at a Cambodian restaurant.

They both serve at the table. The Brazilian brings around skewers of meat and slices them on to your plate. The Cambodian is a round tin bbq at the table. They bring out a platter of meats including CROCODILE! (Tasted very tender, it's orange), squid, shark, chicken & pork.

I had a cocktail with both meals too.

The Brazilian brings little side dishes of salad. The Cambodian brings vegetables and noodles and cooks them into a soup around the bottom of the meat.

I had creme brule (I don't know how to spell that) for desert. I was stuffed.

I had a swim and a massage when I got here. And another swim when I got back from my expedition. It is very humid and hot, the sweat was running in rivulets down my body as I walked around tbe market. And there are tiny insects that fly up your nose and in your mouth if you aren't careful.

I bought expensive green jade earings because they match the tattoo of my dragon on my leg. And I bought a cute outfit to wear tomorrow and a book to read about someone travelling through Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.

I worked too hard to make the money to get here. I was so tired. Like totally drained of energy. I feel like I'm 90, not 50. I feel like I've given all my energy away to people. And hardly anyone wanted to come to my birthday who I invited. It made me sad. And tired. I need this holiday.

We had a greattime at my dinner with tbe lovely people who came. I know such nice people.
 

Thinking about my birthday

My friend (who also isn't coming to my birthday) said not to count the number of people coming to my party as an indication of the number of people who love me.

I said because that would indicate that no one loves me. Everyone has things more important to themselves to do or someone elses birthday they would rather celebrate.

After a while I had a better idea. Instead of counting the number of people who come as an indication of the number of people who love me I'll count the number of presents I get!

I've been working really hard to get enough money to go to Cambodia. I'm a bit impressed that I decided 2 weeks ago to go and I have saved up enough to pay for it.

It's tiring making it out of thin air though. I have to put alot of energy into manifesting work and so much work is very draining. I'm lucky I'm a money tree. Money just grows out of my finger tips as I massage.

Well...there's another cancellation. Down to 9 people coming to my birthday dinner now. I hope she brings me a present to count.

Packing

I'm worried about my cat cup. The handle has a crack. It's just not the same happy feeling I got from my other cat cup. I need a new mug. Preferably with cats on.

I finished getting organized for my trip over the weekend. I've done check in and packed my bag.

I packed then I had to repack when I looked up the weather. I'd packed for Autumn but it is going to be really hot & tropical, 37°C.

The luggage only weighs 5kg so I can buy 2kgs worth of stuff to bring home. I cleared out my undies draw and packed all the old pairs. Instead of washing them, I'll just be able to throw them out. Genius!

I'm having a 50th Birthday party on Saturday and going to Cambodia on Sunday. I'm so excited.

I wish I wasn't having a birthday party on Saturday. It's embarrasing. No one wants to come.

They all said "Ohh, 50! We'll have to do something to celebrate." Now they all have other, more important things to do.

If I hadn't put down a deposit, I would cancel and stay at home and cry like I usually do on my birthday. I hate my birthday. I'm glad I'm taking myself to Cambodia.  I hope I remember never to have another birthday ever again.

Mother's Day

My sons let me know they were coming over on Mother's Day about lunch time I said "I'll stay in bed till you get here so you can bring me breakfast and a cup of tea in bed" and I did. In my new pink dressing gown.

We played games on our phones. I showed Wayland my cats. They go out and steal things to bring back and fill up my rooms and I dress them up in funny hats. Wayland gave me Plants vs Zombies. I played it all day but it stopped working that night. Don't know why.

When William got bored I got up and we went out. I knew it would be a bad idea to take them to the shops but I had broken the toilet seat and needed to buy a new one. I was right. William got the shits and went off in a huff.

We got Kentucky Fried Chicken, which I hate but had been thinking about for 6 months. I won't need it again for 2 years. William was still in a huff. I told him he didn't need to be, he could change his mind and decide not to be. He got better after that.

We went for a drive and found a spot with a spectacular view to stop & eat. We took lots of photos.



It was a good drive.

When we got back we had a wrestle, till Wayland got a bleeding nose and used William's sock to wipe it.

William put the toilet seat on for me. Last time I did it and the little flaps at the back that cover the plastic screws had been sticking up ever since. He did a good job.

Then it was time to go.

I played Plants vs Zombies for hour after they left.  My friend invited me to come over for a glass of wine when I finished playing.

We had a good day.

Making New Friends

                     

What a nice day.

I couldn't sleep on Friday night after the spooks knocked over the massage table as I was going off to sleep. Then I woke up too early. I jumped out if bed and washed the car. It was very dirty and we were going out today.

I have an energetic yoga class on Saturdays at 8:30, then have to hurry to get ready to go to Newcastle for sword practice. I never have enough time & I'm always late.

I took my new friend with me from Victoria. He wandered along Beaumont St while I was practicing. I'm starting to get the hang of sword. I like it.

After sword we picked up my daughter Matilda for an early Mother's day and went to the fish & chip shop on the corner at The Junction.

Claire in the fish & chip shop became my friend last week when she gave me some spaghetti bolognese to take home for my dinner. She told me she was from Cambodia & I told her I might be going there. This week I told her I AM going there. She gave me the details of the hotel she stays in when she goes back to Phnom Penh.

I got some ginger root tea from the shop next door, the girl there has become my friend too. She awarded me the best dressed of the day. If I find the same t-shirt next time I go to Thailand, I'll get it for her.

We took our picnic to my favorite people watching spot by the sea to eat in the shiny red convertible. There weren't alot of people out & about. I told them I  wait for the children that fall over. Bahahaha. There were some interesting dogs.

Matilda updated us on her Phd. She won the university scholarship and is going to be the world's foremost authority on comic books.

We took my friend up to the secret look out up on a cliff with the ocean below. The sun was shining brightly.

We dropped Matilda off at her house and drove back to Singleton towards a glorious orange sunset.

I made another new acquaitance on the way home when the young attendant asked what I'd done today. He was so interested to hear about Japanese sword lessons in Newcastle, he asked for the details.

After I dropped my friend off at his hotel and I came home for a sleep.

Coffee and Fresh Bread

                                                                       
 

So tired. Big day.

I couldn't write my blog last night. I had to choose between writing the blog and dying of exaustion or going to bed. As I had to get up at 6am and teach yoga in the park, I thought I better go to bed.

So when I bounded out of bed this morning I was full of energy. My phone started sending me little messages from my friends and I went to pour out my coffee. I love my phone.

Coffee is the real reason I managed to pursuade myself to slide out of bed so early.  I love my coffee.

I poured my coffee into my favorite cat mug, thinking how happy my favorite mug makes me feel in the morning. I love my mug, it has a funny cat on each side, smiling and wearing sneakers.

When to my dismay, as I watched, the level of coffee was rapidly diminishing. I discovered that it had sprung a leak.

It may have had a little crack for a long time that had now turned into a large crack and my coffee was pouring out all over the bench. But I saved some of it by quickly pouring it into another mug.

But the good news is have another one the same! This one (that is the same as my favorite mug) has been holding my teaspoons. It has a few chips, they are very old.

It is now washed and ready to go tomorrow.

Yoga in the park was funny, not too cold today, with the delectable smells of bread wafting over us from the Coles bakery. It was even more wonderful when they were cooking hot cross buns.

We reached up into the sky for Salute to the Sun and I felt a drop of rain. But Chryse insisted that it wasn't raining. Deanne was ready to give up at the first drop. But we kept going till it got a bit heavier. No one wanted to lie down in savasana with drops of rain falling on their face.

I'm trying to think if anything else exciting happened today...

I booked a one way ticket to Cambodia.

I'm running away.

The Acidentally Stolen Money

Everyone was lying on the floor in silence with eyes closed at the start of class, connecting with the universe and their true selves.

Someone very quietly slipped some money for me in through the door, it was wrapped up in one of my programs. I was the only one who saw.

There were a lot of money transactions and enquiries after class as I had some new people. There was a tidy sum of money when I counted it after everyone had left, but I felt there should have been more.

I remembered the money that had been dropped in and went to get it but it wasn't there! I looked all around on the floor and behind the big shoe box, but it wasn't there. No one has ever taken money from the studio, it goes with trusting people and honesty that are part of the yogic system of beliefs.

The girl who left the money had sent me a txt saying she had.

I replied "Someone's taken it."

She replied "OMG! It had $70 in it."

Then she rang me up.

The money was actually from the lady she takes care of who comes to me every week for a half hour massage (sometimes she nods off in the chair, it's so relaxing) and now she had started coming to yoga, which is wonderful as she has dementia.

When her carer rang me I told her I knew who had taken it because they had been sitting where the money had been left, everyone else had been standing.

We discussed what to do and tbe plan worked.

I rang up the person and said "Hi _____, did you see a crumpled up program where you were sitting?

"Yes," they said, "It's in my bag."

"Well you better have a look in it," I said.

I heard scrabbling as they looked through their bag.

"Oh my God! It's got $70 in it!"

I said, "I know. I better come and get it." And I did.

They appoligised, "I'm so sorry, I put the program in my bag to give to my daughter, incase she wanted one."

I stopped to fill up with petrol seeing as I was out. I told the attendant how I had got my money back that had been accidentally stolen.

She couldn't believe her ears.

I didn't gossip or spread tales. She was just as astonished at my forgiving attitude.

I shook my head as I said, "I would have trusted her with my life"

She replied, "One day she will accidentally take your life."

My eyes are open now.

It all worked out well, I never told anyone who took it and I didn't loose my ______ing lady, because that was the most important of all, I couldn't loose my ______ing lady.

(I can't tell, because that would be telling).

Making a garden

The week kept getting better.

On Tuesday I heard 2 old ladies walking passed the studio and one made a sneering remark about my chalk board. She read, "Happy Easter", "Easter is over," she said.

I'd been up since 6am teaching yoga and playing with babies in my mums's & bub's class & massaging my favorite old lady who has dementia and hadn't had time to re-write the board.

I changed it to "Happy Easter - it might be over but it's still nice weather" which stayed till it was washed off by a shower of rain a few days later.

On Wednesday, I wanted to try again with my boys. I thought if there was only one of them they wouldn't act the goat.

I drove out to their home and persuaded William to come and see my painting and help me with my pavement garden. I told him I would cry if he didn't come, and started to cry, so he came.

He did a really great job. My new garden looks excellent. I desperately needed to repot the orange tree, the wine-barrel was falling appart. That was hard (& expensive). And he helped me collect a really heavy pot plant that had been at a friends place for 5 years because it was so heavy.

And he said that my painting was the best painting I had ever done.

In the evening, I had a special treat, I'd organized 2 of my favorite young girls to come to Yoga. We hadn't done yoga together since they went off to uni 2or 3 years earlier.

Thursday I was really excited about. It was my BFF's birthday. She turned 21. We were having lunch at Bellygood. She used to work there and we had become friends since she called me the Rainbow Beef Queen,  because I ate there so often.

But even before that, when one of my students arrived, they had a little easter gift for me of some perfect ginger bread biscuits, iced, & in the shape of birds and butterflies.

We had a special lunch at Bellygood with June and David, the cook. He cooked us a fabulous smorgasbord of fried chilli fish with prawn chips, a delicious omelette and sweet & sour pork and rice.

I bought a birthday cake decorated with the plastic 'happy birthday' sign I keep in the fridge for birthday cakes.

Oh wow... And then on Thursday evening there was the incident of the accidentally stolen money. I think I'll make that the next chapter.

Easter, Art and Ego

The weather at Easter was Glorious.

After sword practice I got fish & chips and ate them in the sun in my red convertible at Dixon Beach, watching the sea and the parade of people out jogging & walking their dogs and babies.

I had another fabulous drive on Sunday to Wollombi. I love the road where the trees meet in an arch above me, the moist smell and ringing of the bell-birds.

My sister and mother and I had lunch on the verandah of a private vinyard. I like to be exclusive. The nice lady there made us an antipasto plate. My sister & I had a shot of the vinyards special lemoncello and we had a glass of their white wine. My sister was funny, she was a bit tipsy and sort of skipping and flapping her hands because she loves having a ride in my car.

A friendly caterpillar joined us for lunch and hitched a ride home on my dress, which I discovered when I when I was trying to have a nap on the lounge but was disturbed by his squishiness on my leg.

We had a lovely day.

I showed my mother a photo of my nearly completed painting. Unfortunately for my life, she can never say anything positive about anything I have ever done.

She said "I don't like the big monster".

I was about to leave so I didn't let it spoil the lovely day. But the remark stayed with me all day as my temperamental, artistic ego spent the next day finishing my grandest work of art.


In the afternoon, after about 6 weeks, it was finished. I was so excited I wanted to show my boys so I drove out to where they live.

I'll put it down to the idea that they were excited to see me, but they behaved like idiots. I didn't get a very positive response from them either, they were more into running around whipping each other with stalks of grass.

They are 16 & 20 and I felt disappointed that they haven't grown up at all.

That night I was feeling quite angry, not yogic at all, just bruised artistic ego. I knew that my painting was stupendous. But I felt like I wanted to punch a hole in it. I felt that my work was futile. I took it down off facebook, where it was unappreciated. All a friend had said was 'interesting composition'.

It's a very large painting, perhaps it doesn't translate well into a tiny photo.

I went out for a walk in the cool night air to try and cure my bad mood.
Unfortunately a man followed me up the street yelling abuse down his phone at his girl friend. I seriously didn't need his negative energy following me up the street.

He ducked up a side lane and I thought "That's good, I won't have to deal with him."

BUT when I came around the corner to my car park, he had overtaken me and was still yelling down his phone, "Why don't you shut the fuck up?"

So I yelled at him "Why don't you shut the fuck up?"

He says, "Are you going to make me?"

And I say "Yeah."

He says "Its none of your fucking business."

And I say, "You made it my business by yelling abuse at me for the whole block"

He goes, "Well go on then."

And I land an right uppercut on his jaw.
He was so shocked.

By now 2 nice young me who had been walking through the car park come up to defer the situation.

The guy goes, "Go on, do it again" (with some other nasty words)

And I land a right-cross to his jaw.

None of them thought I would, but they didn't know that I'm a black belt in a bad mood.

The two nice young guys, step in and pursuade the horrible, yelling man to leave. I bet he was glad to get away.

I calmed down.

When I came inside, I felt so much better.